Parental Loneliness
Coping with loneliness and building your support network.
All parents and carers may feel lonely at times, regardless of whether they have a partner or are a single parent. Times of change can make this more likely, including separations, becoming a new parent, moving somewhere new, or bereavement. There are small steps you can take if you are feeling lonely, either by asking others for help and support or by exploring new connections yourself.
Parental Loneliness
Many parents, carers, and guardians describe feeling lonely at various times. This may feel as though:
- You do not have time for anything in your life other than "being a parent".
- There is nobody you feel you can call or meet up with just for a chat.
- You miss having adult conversations.
- There is nobody you feel you can ask for help when things feel overwhelming.
- It feels difficult to meet new people.
Acknowledging How You Feel
An important first step to addressing loneliness is recognising it and understanding that you are not alone. These feelings are experienced by many parents and carers, particularly when they compare themselves to what they see of other families in person or on social media. This can make it feel as though nobody else is struggling, or that everyone else has more friends and support.
However, even those with close families and social circles can feel lonely. There is no one definition of loneliness, and it shows up differently for everyone. The important thing is to acknowledge your feelings and know that support is available.
Finding Your Support Network
When you are feeling lonely, it can seem as though there is nobody to turn to. It may help to take some time to think about people you already know, or those you might like to build a relationship with. You might find it useful to write a list. This could include:
- A neighbour or local shopkeeper.
- Family and friends.
- Other parents at your child’s school, nursery, or activity group.
- Groups related to your own hobbies or interests.
Think about what kind of connection you would like with these people. Making connections with others who understand what you are experiencing can make a significant difference. Online communities can also be a helpful way to find relatable people, but remember that social media often only shows a small, curated part of someone’s story.
Specific Situations
- New Parents: It is common to find that you do not feel the way you expected to before the baby arrived. This is a normal experience, and it is helpful to learn more about supporting your mental health during this transition.
- Single Parents: Parenting alone carries unique rewards and demands. You may find it difficult to make time for your own needs or miss having someone to share decision-making with.
- Bereavement: Grieving while parenting is incredibly challenging. It is important to give yourself the time and space to look after yourself whenever you can.
- Disability and Health Conditions: Managing your own health while parenting can be physically and emotionally draining. You may have less energy for socialising, so you might want to consider local befriending or volunteering services that can come to you.
If You Have a Neurodivergent Child
When you have a neurodivergent child, you may feel that others do not always understand your child’s needs or way of communicating. Advocating for your child can take a huge amount of energy. It can help to speak with other parents and carers in similar situations who truly "get it". You could look for local in-person groups for families with neurodivergent children or join neuro-affirming online forums and support communities.
Taking Small Steps
Not everyone finds it easy to reach out, especially if their confidence is low. It is okay if you do not feel ready to join a large social group yet. You can start with small, everyday interactions, such as a brief chat with someone in a coffee shop or a simple "hello" to other parents at the school gate. These small moments can help build your confidence over time.
Getting Support for Loneliness
If you feel you need additional help managing these feelings, there are many professionals and organisations available:
- Your GP or a therapist.
- Your health visitor or midwife.
- A support worker at a family hub or children’s centre.
- Your local Home-Start (for those with a child under five).
Need support for your family?
Reach out and we will help you find the right guidance for you or the people you care for.